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King Me!

December 18, 2011

King Me” (What every son needs from his father) by Steve Farrar. Moody Publishers, Chicago. 2005. 264 pages.

Review by Steve Hyde

My oldest son Paul is now approaching his teenage years and so when I saw this book in a Philippine airport, I picked it up.  I recognized Steve Farrar’s name as being the author of “Point Man” which was very popular when I was in Seminary (a while back), although I never read the whole book.  Looking at the list of books Steve has written clearly he focuses his ministry and life on men’s issues.

There are plenty of quotes in this book that would make a woman upset.  However, probably very few, if any, women would ever read this book.  I think Steve comes across as a guy who is trying to portray himself as an old school cowboy; Tough as nails and sleeps on his saddle at night.  During the day, he teaches his son how to shoe horses, lasso cows and treat women with respect.  He even shares that he lives in Texas.  However, the Texas of today is much more “city folk” than real cowboys.  In fact, it’s pretty hard to find a real cowboy in Texas.  You might need to go up to Wyoming or Montana for that.

Steve is obviously a very opinionated guy and not afraid to share anything.  Here are some of his quotes which made me chuckle.  I hope you like them!

These contemporary “worship” atmospheres are weak. . . The present trend gives the wrong impression of Christianity.  A setting like that is feminine.  A setting like that is for women.  And it all seems so spiritual.  But it isn’t.  Am I in a church or a spa? At a deal like that you don’t bring your Bible; you bring your moisturizer.” (p. 126)

Yes, the church has even feminized the Lord Jesus Christ.  That’s why I get so tired of songs that speak over and over of the “beauty” of Christ. The apostles never said he was beautiful, so why should we?  There is beauty to His character, but that distinction is rarely made.  The impression of his “beauty” that is given today is feminine.  But Christ was male, not female. One doesn’t compliment a man by saying that he is beautiful.  The appropriate word in that context would be “handsome”.  If you went up to John Wayne and said he was beautiful, he would separate several of your molars and bicuspids into a new world order.” (p. 127)

In the end, it was a refreshing book.  Honestly, it is the only one I have about father-son relationships so it was a good read for me.  I think I have failed at nearly all of its recommendations, but it is a book which encourages me to make a point to spend more time with my son and how important communication is. As my son turned 12 years old yesterday, he is fast approaching manhood.  He clearly isn’t the little boy he used to be.  Although I would not agree with everything that Steve says, I would recommend this to a father who needs some encouragement on the value of spending time with his son.

Steve Farrar also recommends the book: “Boys! Shaping Ordinary Boys into Extraordinary Men” by William Beausay.  I haven’t read it, but if you are looking for a book about father-son relationships, you might check it out.

P.S. I think it is weird to call Jesus “beautiful” too.  Come on, he’s a man!

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